When I am Finally Seen

It was loud

    "She's talking..."

    "He said that was great!"

    "Yes, pass her that please..."

 

Relaying conversations were easy

Listening actively were enjoyable

Observing is in my nature

that, of others

 

Where there is noise

there is silence

When someone is heard

another isn't

Where one is seen

others tend to disappear

 

But a pair of eyes sees me

Hear my spoken words

Warm hands covering the sharp edges

and soft questions to calm my nerves

 

But the very same pair of eyes sees her

Hear her loudest without any words spoken

Marched in front of her to be pierced first

Conversation overflowing for he is the nervous one

 

It is still loud

and I am still observing

but it hurts to notice things 

 

 

Hello everyone, it's getting awkward hearing my own voice so I'm not sure how long I'll be continuing this spoken poetry.... But do enjoy it while it's here! Have fun reading and listening <3 

Hey, Hear Me Out

 I told my neighbour yesterday

That Anna from 2 doors down had a man over

Unbeknownst to her husband

Who had been away for days

Huh? Oh, for I haven't had jogged pass him at all this week!

I went over to her house immediately

When I saw Derek passed out by the pool

Flushed red cheeks screaming how much he had fun, obviously 

Surely..., day drinking and experimenting stuffs

Ughh, with no other than that muscled friend of his

Left my neighbour a voicemail as she didn't pick up

Oh my God did you know what happened?

Stella bought so many new insurances! 

Hurry, buckle up your seat ladies

A dead husband is coming our way soon!

I went to my neighbour's just now

It's pitch black outside but I saw it

Richie sneaking pass his lawn to Anna's kitchen

In her nightgown she welcomed him

See, what did I told you before?!

 

Some came to me by the news

Some you called in to 'inform' me

Some just stared me right in the eyes as I opened my front door in the morning

 

It was their house doctor

Visiting Anna's husband at home

as he had been down with a bad cold

 

Derek had a swimming coach that day

As he was struggling to breathe due to overexertion

 while you stopped me to ring the ambulance just in time

She did not come from money

So when she was finally promoted after 10 years of working

Stella bought her first ever insurances, for the whole family

They had been married for 8 years

A homemade lemon cake craved by an eight-month-belly

and be damned, Anna bakes real good

I never knew why my neighbours never stayed

I made all efforts to befriend them

Updated them daily fearing they might missed it

Busy working or even baking

like my ex-neighbour now 2 doors down

Almost

 

Almost number one

Till my legs gave in

No strength left to push through

My friend's back as she glides through the finishing line

was what stayed in my memory

 

Almost said it out loud

Before you told me your stance

Before I winged you up

Now my love story became a broken record

continuing to repeat through my adulthood

 

Almost had it enough

Till I chickened out

Swallowing the truth from you

Constantly ruminating on how life would have been

Would you have left him had I told you?

 

Almost ruined myself

Succumbing to the inviting affections

Envy coating me whole when it didn't

Oh, how I almost became the man I hated

Damned, almost brought me to tears

Almost reaching success

Then I sidestepped

Fear of never enough erupting

My countless attempts flashes through and blurred my vision

Still the volcano melted everything

and I self sabotages

The Giving Tree

 "Sure, I'll back you up."

Spoken as I break off the right branch
To be made into a display cabinet
A housewarming gift prepared for next week
Three hundred days since we last met

"Sure, I'll be there in a heartbeat."

For a midnight rendezvous
Curbing your hunger
I had gathered all my fruits
Bringing it to you still in my office attire

"Sure, I'll pick you up."

My sturdy trunk repurposed 
As a shoulder you lean on
When the world tires you out
When exhaustion burns you alive
and I shall burn together

"Sure, let's ride it out,"

Exchanging my leaves for the fuel
To bring us away tonight
An adventure for your delight
As I'm struggling for my eyes to not shut

"Sure, they will return?"

When I'm less than a stump
With my roots clutching hard
Holding on to the dried-up ground
For sure they will come 
                                        . . . right ?

*Inspired by my cousin and friends, for how giving they are, without the knowledge of how the other parties might treat them back. Thank you for being with me.

A Paused Movie

Like a movie character

Flowing with the plot lines

Stressing out as it thickens

Relaxes riding down the climaxes

Like a movie character

Playing roles written for me

My starts and my ends are eveready

1, 2, 3, Action! and it rolls sweetly

I’m a movie character

Stared into space then I saw you

The audience staring at the screen

The screen called my life

I’m a movie character

Sadly not the one you stayed for

Not the one with a kiss under the mistletoe

Not the one you binged till your eyes are sore

I’m a movie character

My story build but then forgotten

Paused till needed or never resurrected

For I am a side character

Like a movie character

You caught me on the big screen

Waited for a side story that will never happen

Stunted at episode two, drunken.

부끄뚱 - 은근히 낯가려요(feat. RAVI) | BookkuDdong - Shy Ddong (feat. RAVI)

은근히 낯가려요 - Shy Ddong / I'm Very Shy

Korean | Romanization - English

Eungeunhi natgaryeoyo                                                                                                  은근히 낯가려요
Nal swipge bojima                                                                                                             날 쉽게 보지마
Jom bukkeureowoyo                                                                                                           좀 부끄러워요
Moreun cheok jinagajwoyo                                                                                        모른 척 지나가줘요
Uioeraneun maldo                                                                                                                의외라는 말도
Singyeong sseuyeoyo                                                                                                               신경 쓰여요
Silmangiran mare                                                                                                                 실망이란 말에
Nammollae ureoyo                                                                                                               남몰래 울어요

I'm not used to this (I'm shy)

Don't simply stare (look) at me

I'm slightly embarrassed

Please pretend you don't know me.

Even the phrase, "It's surprising,"

bothers me.

With the phrase "It's disappointing,"

I secretly cries.  

 

 

Saenggakboda jaga boindaneu                                                                   생각보다 작아 보인다는 말도

Naegeneun sangcheoga doeneun geol anayo?                                       내게는 상처가 되는 걸 아나요? 
Bogiboda joyonghadaneun maldeuldo                                                       보기보다 조용하다는 말들도
Harujongil saenggaginayo                                                                                       하루종일 생각이나요

Saying "You're smaller than I thought,"

Do you know how much it hurts me?

Saying "You're actually quieter than what I saw (on TV),"

I ended up thinking about it all day long

 

Tto meongnyago malhaji marajwoyo                                                             또 먹냐고 말하지 말아줘요
Oneul cheot kkieyo                                                                                                             오늘 첫 끼에요
Saebyeokgachi ireon                                                                                                        새벽같이 일어나
Bappi salda ijeseoya jom                                                                                        바삐 살다 이제서야 좀
Sum dolliryeoneun chamiraguyo                                                                       숨 돌리려는 참이라구요 
Nado chiyeolhage maeil sarayo                                                                    나도 치열하게 매일 살아요                                                                

"You're eating again?" Please don't say this,

it's my first meal of the day

I woke up at dawn

Busily working, and finally now

I could catch my breath.

I too, am living fiercely everyday.

 

Eungeunhi natgaryeoyo                                                                                                  은근히 낯가려요
Nal swipge bojima                                                                                                             날 쉽게 보지마
Jom bukkeureowoyo                                                                                                           좀 부끄러워요
Moreun cheok jinagajwoyo                                                                                        모른 척 지나가줘요
Uioeraneun maldo                                                                                                                의외라는 말도
Singyeong sseuyeoyo                                                                                                               신경 쓰여요
Silmangiran mare                                                                                                                 실망이란 말에
Nammollae ureoyo                                                                                                               남몰래 울어요

I'm not used to this (I'm shy)

Don't simply stare (look) at me

I'm slightly embarrassed

Please pretend you don't know me.

Even the phrase, "It's surprising,"

bothers me.

With the phrase "It's disappointing,"

I secretly cries.

 

 

Eungeunhi nacheul garyeo                                                                                              은근히 낯을 가려
Geurae hwamyeon sok ane naega beomin                                                   그래 화면 속 안에 내가 범인
Josimseure butageul hasyeo jjigeun                                                               조심스레 부탁을 하셔 찍은
Uri tusyatdeureul postinghal ttae wae                                                       우리 투샷들을 posting할 때 왜
#silmuri byeollo                                                                                                                     #실물이 별로
_twing_gi_neuncheok ojim                                                                                            _튕_기_는척 오짐
Gwansimi orosi                                                                                                                    관심이 오롯이
Areumdaun hyeongsangeuro pyohyeondoeneun ge                               아름다운 형상으로 표현되는 게
Nae yoksimilkka I don’t know                                                                           내 욕심일까 I don’t know
Ireon naega neomu jinjihan geolkka?                                                          이런 내가 너무 진지한 걸까?

Cover up my face (I'm shy)

Yeah, on-screen I appeared as the criminal

Carefully requested a favour for a picture

But why when you posted our 'two shots'

#fake

_playing_hard_to_get ?

Having 'interest'

being expressed in such beautiful form.

Am I just greedy? I don't know

Maybe I am being too serious about this?

Yeoreobun uri bukkeuttungineun                                                                        여러분 우리 부끄뚱이는
Saenggakboda babeul mani meokjido anko                                         생각보다 밥을 많이 먹지도 않고 
Yeoreo charyero nanwo meokjido anayo                                              여러 차례로 나눠 먹지도 않아요
Yeoreobun uri bukkeuttungineun                                                                        여러분 우리 부끄뚱이는
Baeryeoga mome baeeo                                                                                                  배려가 몸에 배어
Honjaga pyeonhaeyo                                                                                                            혼자가 편해요
Gwiyeoun uri bukkeuttungineun                                                                         귀여운 우리 부끄뚱이는

 

Everyone, our Bookkuddong

Doesn't eat as much as suspected

No multiple meal times allocation too

Everyone, our Bookkuddong

Is full of consideration

He's comfortable being alone

Our cute Bookkudong

Eungeunhi natgaryeoyo                                                                                                  은근히 낯가려요
Nal swipge bojima                                                                                                             날 쉽게 보지마
Jom bukkeureowoyo                                                                                                           좀 부끄러워요
Moreun cheok jinagajwoyo                                                                                        모른 척 지나가줘요
Uioeraneun maldo                                                                                                                의외라는 말도
Singyeong sseuyeoyo                                                                                                               신경 쓰여요
Silmangiran mare                                                                                                                 실망이란 말에
Nammollae ureoyo                                                                                                               남몰래 울어요
(chumchuja)                                                                                                                                    (춤추자)

 

I'm not used to this (I'm shy)

Don't simply stare (look) at me

I'm slightly embarrassed

Please pretend you don't know me.

Even the phrase, "It's surprising,"

bothers me.

With the phrase "It's disappointing,"

I secretly cries.

(let's dance!)

Eungeunhi natgaryeoyo                                                                                                   은근히 낯가려요
Eungeunhi natgaryeoyo                                                                                                   은근히 낯가려요

I'm shy

I'm shy

Korean Hangul lyrics are from GROOVLY1N's Youtube channel while the romanized lyrics were adapted from https://www.kpoplyrics.net/bookku-ddoong-shy-ddoong-lyrics-english-romanized.html

You Made Me

 does your heart shrinks

your oxygen depleted

gasping for air

does your nerves break down

suddenly anxious

on pins and needles

does your cheek flushes red

body heating up

feverish

does your teeth shows

smiling all the way up

like a maniac

because mine does

that's what you made me do

An Essential

Being the 'purpose' used to be great...

She wanted me

To accompany her

To join her lifestyle 

To be her Yes girl

To be her friend 

He needed me

For my brain was nice

Enough to feed him

To be a safe house 

A saviour when needed

I gave myself 

For you to be comfy

Finding your the one

Always there when needed

Stayed silent when not

She needed me too

Cause I listen

Cause I understand 

Thinking it'll do me justice 

by offering her ears too

You see I don't mind

Because I knew

And I accepted 

Because I liked

Being needed

But then you needed me

To complete a dream

Fulfilling your vision

Because I'm capable

Because I'm competent

I am still needed

but it hurts so much

that I am not wanted

not by your heart. 

Vicariously

My rectangular box

Is so fancy

Shining with colour spectrum 

Bright red on the lips, 

electric blue and neon eyes

Matte finish or dewy finish

Flawless skin

A million Likes

My rectangular box

Is mesmerising 

Starry nights on a rooftop

Mountain covered in snow

Camels on barren desert 

Romantic sunsets

Lifelong trips

Gaining hearts and views 

My rectangular box

Is very edgy

Glowing with decorative bulbs 

Pretty art on lattes and whipped creams

Homemade cakes and cookies. 

Prices hitting the roof but it's okay, 

It's trendy

Locations shared

My rectangular box

Is so tiny

Stained with fingerprints 

From relentless zooming

and smashing of hearts

But as big as my palm, 

even smaller

Is what it made me feel