Almost

 

Almost number one

Till my legs gave in

No strength left to push through

My friend's back as she glides through the finishing line

was what stayed in my memory

 

Almost said it out loud

Before you told me your stance

Before I winged you up

Now my love story became a broken record

continuing to repeat through my adulthood

 

Almost had it enough

Till I chickened out

Swallowing the truth from you

Constantly ruminating on how life would have been

Would you have left him had I told you?

 

Almost ruined myself

Succumbing to the inviting affections

Envy coating me whole when it didn't

Oh, how I almost became the man I hated

Damned, almost brought me to tears

Almost reaching success

Then I sidestepped

Fear of never enough erupting

My countless attempts flashes through and blurred my vision

Still the volcano melted everything

and I self sabotages

Dried Flower

 inspired by Yuuri, from a song with the same title

 

Crumpled at the edges

Hollowed stems that used to 

be sturdy holding us strong

A slight tug is all it needed

For us to sway and fall to pieces 

Dulled colour till browned

What was once fragrant

now smells like moldy air

A day or two more we could stay

Before black and ashes we became

No more water could freshen us up

Upside down, we were tied 

right next to the sun

Over abundance of nutrient I gave us once

Now stem blackens, infected

Still crumpled at the edges

Now the petals had fallen out

Overflowed with too much

care and love

Too porous to hold onto

Once a brightly exciting bouquet

turned black as death

negligence swells the wound

stench welcoming the air

I had once adored our love

Savouring the colours it painted my life

Thinking that I could preserve it

Looking forward to contain it

But before I could hang it dry

so that it will be everlasting

An untimely death beckoning

as the water I had poisoned

Age of Maturity

They said it is caused he's young

Still gallivanting life

A free soul not yet tied down

A boy, wanting adventures

That's why he chased after her.

 

They said that he has the build

Masculinity to gawk at

Fulfilling dreams of reliability

A man's shoulder to depend on

Both hands outstretched, he caged her.

 

They said it is caused of his immaturity

Joyously experimenting

No repercussion on his end

"Just a friendly flirting"

So he laid his head on her shoulder.

 

They said that he'll grow up

Give it some time

With age and responsibilities

Wisdom will soon matures him

That is when he'll slow down. 

They said people will change

Too early to be judged

But an older man I have witnessed

Having the heart of a selfish boy

Disappointing homes he should have cared most.

The Giving Tree

 "Sure, I'll back you up."

Spoken as I break off the right branch
To be made into a display cabinet
A housewarming gift prepared for next week
Three hundred days since we last met

"Sure, I'll be there in a heartbeat."

For a midnight rendezvous
Curbing your hunger
I had gathered all my fruits
Bringing it to you still in my office attire

"Sure, I'll pick you up."

My sturdy trunk repurposed 
As a shoulder you lean on
When the world tires you out
When exhaustion burns you alive
and I shall burn together

"Sure, let's ride it out,"

Exchanging my leaves for the fuel
To bring us away tonight
An adventure for your delight
As I'm struggling for my eyes to not shut

"Sure, they will return?"

When I'm less than a stump
With my roots clutching hard
Holding on to the dried-up ground
For sure they will come 
                                        . . . right ?

*Inspired by my cousin and friends, for how giving they are, without the knowledge of how the other parties might treat them back. Thank you for being with me.

Still I Do

People asked if I have loved before

Laughed it off or lie

Are my usual slice of pie

Afraid of reliving my mistakes

Of letting love in

Only to leave it stranded alone

People asked if I am loving someone

Deadpan stares and resigned sighs

“I am not interested in one for now.”

Fear that more questions will tell them

How you are the picture of every lyrics I sang

You are the story of the poems I wrote

People asked what will I do if I fall in love

Smiling, suppressing laughters

Darting eyes, acting innocent

Covering up how it is you I’m talking about

Of the way we have loved before

The way I will love you still

Capability to Change

I am a stagnant water
Collecting dust and rainwater
Level rising in this contained walls
Waiting to be released, to run free
Waiting for an overflow

I am a stagnant water
Collecting moss and unidentified creatures
Turning green, gross and grimy
Waiting to be cleaned, to be changed
Waiting to be thrown away

I am a stagnant water
People poke holes on my concrete walls
Building a running water system
Waiting for a cleaner liquid, oxygenated
Waiting for a salvation

Still I am a stagnant water
Long collected debris and dirt
Hand-in-had forming an alliance
Blocking the holes, blocking options
Blocking all hopes and solutions

Around the Bush

One foot out the door
and I hear the boiling kettle
A guitar and a music score
but my voice is still little

The gas turned off
Now I'm thirsty for tea
Autotune for the playoff?
Antis just won't agree

Chamomile calms the thoughts
Seek the fridge for an apricot
Honey water to ease the clots
Now only left the nerves in knot

Mug and plate in the sink
Dark clouds outside made me rethink
Guitar back in it's case with a clink
Maybe another day I will sing


---

A poem about having second thoughts and giving excuses to avoid dealing with any situation.

Neighbouring Windows

As I stare inside
I saw a couple arguing
Choosing future pathways
Breaking up or entertaining a break.
Funny,
how it shares a root word.

I peaked next door
A relationship ended
Being untitled, unlabelled
Even love can be shrugged off.
As if nothing
Just a song you get tired of.

I looked to the one below
Alone with multiple hurt
Scarring the tired heart
New strangers are just samples.
Wanting,
but the blemishes put a halt.

I glanced to my right
Years of trust evaporated
A wrong move mistaken
Feelings unrequited.
Even friendship,
is now forgotten.

At the corner I squinted,
Assessing her own reflection
Trembling, on the brink of tears
Eyebrows wrinkled of worries.
All you wanted,
was to love yourself.

Life shares a story,
lives emit bittersweet tales,
and they're all coming to me.

---
Poem inspired by 5 different friends on mine. 
The bittersweet of life is an unforgettable memory, with some requiring a drop of tear, or two.

Perfectly Matched

We laughed at the same jokes
Be it political or a hoax
Our moon shaped eyes curved
and our skin wrinkled

The things we do
the things we love
We rounded equally
Personalities melting perfectly

Indistinguishable principles hold
Cooking the same recipes
Till our hair turns old
Still believing in charity

We, are almost identical
Or so he told me.
But with a plastered smile and wide eyes,
You took his hands and left me none.

Disclaimer: I do not own the picture. Credits goes to https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/88453580160089585/

She and I,
are so similar
That's why it hurts more.