Almost

 

Almost number one

Till my legs gave in

No strength left to push through

My friend's back as she glides through the finishing line

was what stayed in my memory

 

Almost said it out loud

Before you told me your stance

Before I winged you up

Now my love story became a broken record

continuing to repeat through my adulthood

 

Almost had it enough

Till I chickened out

Swallowing the truth from you

Constantly ruminating on how life would have been

Would you have left him had I told you?

 

Almost ruined myself

Succumbing to the inviting affections

Envy coating me whole when it didn't

Oh, how I almost became the man I hated

Damned, almost brought me to tears

Almost reaching success

Then I sidestepped

Fear of never enough erupting

My countless attempts flashes through and blurred my vision

Still the volcano melted everything

and I self sabotages

Presents

 Old Boxes Presents

I went home today

Boxes piling
Dusts rolling
Silence screeching

I picked up a box today
Bending down
Blowing dust
Coughing hard

I saw you again today
of books and clothing
of scents lingering
memories rewinding

I'll come again like today
Opening another
Revisiting chapters
Always remember

7 Feet Away

Grow the distance,

It’ll make you ponder

So much you’ll start to wonder

“Have you eaten?”

“Did you take your medication today?”

“Are you smiling?”

Jay said we are far away

Like the Moon to Earth

Using music to quench our thirst

🎶 … you are 25 minutes too late …

… I call you but you don’t answer …

… however much I think of you, you’re not here anymore … 🎶

One less person calling (me)

Telling me the hurt they held

Soothed my pain that too had swelled

telling me how to be myself

reaching out searching for consolation

a pair of ears that listen.

The distance between us is now a fixture

Yet everyday felt like it is growing wider

With more memories floating into exhilation

Do You?: Part III

Do You series

Part III

 

It doesn't hurt like it used to

    Like visiting a war museum

    The pictures so loud I feel the pain

    Then I walked out the door

    The exhibition has ended

 

It doesn't hurt like it used to

    Like an itchy mosquito bite

    Home remedy putting an 'X' across

    Soon the urge subsides

    Still there but scratch I need not

 

It doesn't hurt like it used to

    Like taking anesthetic while delivering      

    Struggling, but pain is not felt

    As the pain altered by the high

    A new life is born out of it

Click here to read the Part I of the Do You? series or here for the Part II.

Do You?: Part II

Do You series

Part II

Memories etched in every muscles I have

    I swear, I have forgotten about you

    I have kept you locked in a faraway place

    I have behaved

    Though my mind whispered, "Why not."

 

Every now and then your name comes up

    I feel that tightness in my chest

    That echo in my mind running loud

    Loud but voiceless, soundless

    Still it hurts

 

Wound from my fall left scars on my skin

    but it no longer hurt or bleeds

    It closes and dried up

    Then why the you that I can't see

    Lingers and pained me

 

Time heals all but memories

    Seeping through my unconsciousness

    Filling all cracks without fail

    The smallest flame ignites

    and I remember it all

Click here to read the Part I of the Do You? series or here for the Part III.

Do You?: Part I

Do You series

Part I

Physical pain versus memory that stabs me

every time I remember

and I do remember

just like I did before

I do it again

I used to dream the possibilities

of being the one you turn your head to

I was hopeful

but truth is not merciful

punched in the guts continuously

"Doing something repeatedly but hoping for a different ending,"

they called this insanity

guess I should be warded now

for I'm in pain

for I have done it again

What if one day I forget about you?

Completely with no residue

will peace finally visit me

or would it be the same

empty and void again?

In a parallel universe far from us

there is me and you

I hope we are strangers

because knowing you hurts

for I'm the one who remembers

 

 

Click here to read the Part II of the Do You? series or here for the Part III.

Head Patting

I said something funny
A pat on the head

I did something wrong
A pat on the head

I was sad and angry
A pat on the head

I was extremely happy
A pat on the head

Also when I was joking around
A pat on the head

It's warm and it's heavy
But it sits perfectly

And I miss that
Your pat on my head

Indelible

Can I like you?

          Heart races seeing others

          Sweat breaking looking at him

          but when the song in the radio starts playing

          it is you on my mind I keep seeing

Can I keep you?

          Late night talks with strangers

          Sharing stories with others

          but with every news I get

          you are the first I wished to text

Can we be more?

          You believed it's better with me

          Saying how you hoped I was there

          but if I were to actually stray

          will you be able to stay?

Can't I let go?

          A good friend before any other

          A permanence no matter what bothers

          but despite all the feelings I uprooted

          the roots of all memories stay grounded.

Neighbouring Windows

As I stare inside
I saw a couple arguing
Choosing future pathways
Breaking up or entertaining a break.
Funny,
how it shares a root word.

I peaked next door
A relationship ended
Being untitled, unlabelled
Even love can be shrugged off.
As if nothing
Just a song you get tired of.

I looked to the one below
Alone with multiple hurt
Scarring the tired heart
New strangers are just samples.
Wanting,
but the blemishes put a halt.

I glanced to my right
Years of trust evaporated
A wrong move mistaken
Feelings unrequited.
Even friendship,
is now forgotten.

At the corner I squinted,
Assessing her own reflection
Trembling, on the brink of tears
Eyebrows wrinkled of worries.
All you wanted,
was to love yourself.

Life shares a story,
lives emit bittersweet tales,
and they're all coming to me.

---
Poem inspired by 5 different friends on mine. 
The bittersweet of life is an unforgettable memory, with some requiring a drop of tear, or two.