Almost

 

Almost number one

Till my legs gave in

No strength left to push through

My friend's back as she glides through the finishing line

was what stayed in my memory

 

Almost said it out loud

Before you told me your stance

Before I winged you up

Now my love story became a broken record

continuing to repeat through my adulthood

 

Almost had it enough

Till I chickened out

Swallowing the truth from you

Constantly ruminating on how life would have been

Would you have left him had I told you?

 

Almost ruined myself

Succumbing to the inviting affections

Envy coating me whole when it didn't

Oh, how I almost became the man I hated

Damned, almost brought me to tears

Almost reaching success

Then I sidestepped

Fear of never enough erupting

My countless attempts flashes through and blurred my vision

Still the volcano melted everything

and I self sabotages